So what if I...

...finally had a long overdue cry over all that has gone in the past few months regarding Ryun's job, insurance and whatever the hell else.

It felt good...really, really good.

And no, I have no idea what to make of the fact that I literally said out loud after dealing with frustration after frustration, phone call after aggravating phone call (and this is just in the past hour), HELP ME GOD PLEASE NOW...and well, he did.

It was all precipitated by more frustrating news on the insurance front...shocking I know. We had received a request for information from MASS Health which I was gathering and getting ready to send. Between the Medical Security Plan and MASS Health, the MASS Health benefits were really much better. Of course, the usual happened...an opportunity for something better was there and I had no choice but to take the worst. MASS Health will not cover you if you have any other insurance option, no matter that the co-pays are through the roof, my vision is getting progressively worse and it doesn't cover any vision services and Ryun has a tooth ache and there is no dental coverage...at all. The Medical Security Plan representative I spoke with said that I could purchase an individual dental plan through another company so I called. There is a waiting period on services beyond cleaning...so Ryun would have to wait 1 year to get his tooth filled or whatever it needs. Hello? In a year the tooth may have rotted right out of his mouth (not to mention the pain). Of course there is always the option to pay out of pocket but Ryun is unemployed and taking home less than half than he did when working. Same goes for the vision care. And to top it all off? I haven't seen my counselor in since February and she is not covered under the MSP. Whether or not I needed mental health counseling before there is no question of the benefit it could provide now and I can't pay for it because I have no coverage and my husband is unemployed! AHHHHHHH!

After the tears were through and after I asked God to help me (out of sheer frustration if I am being honest), I decided just for kicks to see if the !@#$%^& formerly known as Ryun's boss actually did what he had said he was going to do and paid up what he owes on the insurance plan we had. I am still waiting for the lightening to strike but in some sort of miracle, he followed through. I am just waiting for Ryun to confirm with the union but it looks like we have our old plan back for at least three months, which I am hoping can begin now, and not be backdated to the day he was laid off in March. Because if that happens? I might have to cry again.