It happens to the best of us. We have a plan, whether it be big or small, and with each step forward, we take two steps back. It happens with the simplest of things, like setting a goal of cleaning the house. You start to wash the dishes, and the phone rings. You answer it, go back to the dishes and a kid starts crying. You console the crying child, go back to the dishes, and someone knocks on the door. You answer the door, and go back to the dishes and...well you get the point. Sometimes life just doesn't go as you planned, or as you think it should.
This sort of "interference with my life plan" has really been a big problem for me lately. I have many millions of ideas in my head about what I need to do, what I want to do, and where I want to be but the sheer amount of work that it will take to get there is overwhelming. Throw in the "everyday life" stuff that just seems to jump in of its own accord, and making any real progress on anything is next to impossible.
I have not been able to master the balancing act that is "taking care of me" and running every day life. It almost seems impossible for the two to exist concurrently. What's worse is that I am getting so burnt out trying to balance the seesaw that nothing is getting done on either side of it. It's almost like I am on one side of the seesaw saying quietly, almost desperately, "Hey over there, remember me? Sharon? I need you." On the other end I am hearing in much louder, demanding tones, "Mom, Can you....will you....I need...." and "Hey Sharon will you ...can you...I need you to...". And then there is this other entity representing me, standing in the middle of the seesaw, getting pulled in the direction of the louder voices calling out me, while looking back at myself on the other end saying, "I'll get back to you some day, I promise."
I have to figure this out, and, I am trying. It's more than I have ever done before so that has to be a step in the right direction. I am setting priorities (or at least attempting to), but to be honest, life has been a bit overwhelming lately (in case that wasn't obvious yet).
Sometimes, I guess, you just have to say, "To hell with the dishes."