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Saturday, January 19, 2008


Sometimes, I get in to a frame of mind that is so focused, so directed that even something like going to the bathroom is a major annoyance (how dare natural bodily functions mess up my groove). These moods are far and few between of course, because my natural way is to lose focus and get distracted or wait until the last possible minute to get whatever done. So, when these focused and directed frames of mind take hold, I try hard not to let them pass by and actually use the time to get something productive done. Today is one such day. The "I must get something productive done" and the ability to concentrate are present. Unfortunately, it's the external forces (being you know, the kids and husband) that are messing it all up. It's not Ryun's fault really. It's the kids, having one of those "high needs" kind of days (all three of them at once of course) and for some reason, when my physical body is actually in the house, Ryun becomes invisible to them. It is only I that can mediate all conflicts, determine if it is "snack time," dress a doll, help the youngest with the whole bathroom thing, etc., even if I have made it perfectly clear that I am not to be disturbed. And, it is partially my own fault because, even if Ryun steps up to the plate and helps them with whatever needs helping and they cry or yell for me, I would rather just break away from whatever I am doing then listen to the battle between him and the kids. It's giving in to some degree, maintaining my sanity and keeping the peace to another degree, but most of all it's enabling. If it doesn't stop, eventually the kids will learn (and to a point they already have) that Mom can and will do it all, and it will allow Ryun, not to do, well anything. If I don't do it all, someone else will have to, right?

Cross-posted fromConfessions Of A Stay At Home Mom which, by the way, has been updated a couple of times since I last linked from here.

1 comment:

The Dew's said...

Sometimes it's hard to give up OUR CONTROL. We do it all, we do it all right, but i think your right, letting ryan help even if there is a fight or confrontation, you need to let him. After a few times you'll be glad you did.

i finally did this with seanand the girls and now i just let them fight it out knowing that i am to stay out of this one.

The kids and folding laundry, sean when he's doing and the kids want to help he flips out. I say you have to fold it anyway just let them so it's not perfect who cares, they are willing to help you need to be willing to let them help.