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Friday, March 31, 2006

Answer And New ?

If I had to choose my favorite show of all time, it would be...LOST.

New question: If someone did something, something really big to betray your trust, how long would it take you to trust them again? Say the event happened close to a year ago and the person has done done numerous things in an attempt to earn your trust back.

Yes, I am asking for a specific reason, which I probably won't elaborate on, for those who are curious.


Anonymous said...

I would find it hard to ever trust someone again who betrayed my trust. But I'm also on the fence with this one. I think how close I was to the person and how much the relationship meant to me would factor in too. I have a feeling it would always be in the back of my mind. I cannot imagine ever betraying any of my friends, and I can't imagine them doing that to me either. I will admit that I only have a few close friends, but they mean the world to me and I have known my best friend for over twenty years now. So, after all that, I guess my final thought is if someone truly cares about you and values your relationship, why would they jeopardize it by betraying your trust? That's my $0.02

Jay said...

It actually does depend, but the default value with me tends toward never, depending what the betrayal, who the person, etc.

One of my business partners, who is also a good friend, has been in a form of penalty box with me now for two years for failing me in a way that convinced me he will never take the business seriously. That marked the point at which I started treating it almost 100% as if there were no partners.

I still hold grudges against people going as far back as 1973. Which isn't exactly the same thing, but places my tendencies in context.

Yet I am more likely to maintain a grudge against someone I have no contact with than against, say, a relative I will encounter regularly. I think a year or so is the most a relative has ever gotten me to stay mad, even if there's a certain probationary caution on my part subsequently, for a while.

Jenny said...

Does this have to do with that life-changing thing you talked about a while ago? I can't remember how long it was, it might have even been close to a year ago...Anyway. It would totally depend on WHAT they did, HOW CLOSE I was to them, WHAT the relationship means to me, and if they did it to purposely hurt me. IF they did it to purposely hurt me, I would lean toward never. If they are truly sorry and have given a good sincere effort to make things right, I would forgive, but let them know I'm a bit leery about the whole situation. This same exact thing happened to me a couple of years ago and while it was an isolated incident and this person has never done anything similar since, and they cried their eyes out telling me what they did, I still find it hard to trust them in certain matters relating to the general area of what happened. Good luck to you.