Letter To Julia

I wrote this to Julia just before she started Kindergarten this year. I don't remember if I shared it here or not, although I know I posted it on FB. I dug this up in preparation for a scrapbooking project I am involved with. The prompt for last week was, "My Hero". In many ways, Julia is that to me. Reading this letter has made me realize how far Julia has come this year. Anyway, here is the letter.

Dear Julia:
In a little over a week, you will begin kindergarten. Many things have been said about how I will feel next week. What I do know is this; from the moment the bus pulls away from the curb and down the road, you will crowd my thoughts. “Is she ok?” Is she happy?” “Did she eat her lunch?” Has she met a new friend?”
The hardest part for me in releasing you in to this whole new world is doing so knowing that it is a far from perfect world that waits. You will experience happiness, sadness, grief, joy and every emotion in between. Other people outside of our family will be influencing you and the choices you make. Some level of innocence will be lost. It’s both heartbreaking and heartwarming, sending you off on your way.
The first day of school is a fall rite of passage. For a family with children of special needs, the first day of school also represents hard-won success.
From the moment you first graced our lives, you have exhibited a spirit of survival that astounds me. We've endured too many moments of grief to let learning with disabilities become a roadblock. What I remember most is your first smile and giggle, your first word and your success at a preschool.
Today, we celebrate school and a powerful lesson in letting go.
Today, our family is no different.
The ground we tread is fresh; this will be a year of new challenges. I pray that others in this new world take time to discover how gifted and talented you really are.
When your bus disappears from sight, I know I will be a wreck. Are you ready? Am I ready? You will grin at me through the tinted bus window and I will know, you are more ready than I am.
The bright, yellow school bus will disappear from sight, as it did with your sisters many memories ago, and I will be overcome with emotion. Safely inside, I will release the tears of unconditional love for the child who has been my greatest life teacher.
As you begin this new journey, Julia you must grow in independence. Do so knowing that Dad and I will always be beside you to champion your dreams.
Thank you for coming into my life and teaching me more than I ever thought I had to learn.
With much love,
Mom
P.S. Have a wonderful first day in kindergarten!!