Before I begin, I must commend myself on finishing my first ever self help book. I have started at least one hundred of them, but never, ever finished.
The book I am referring to is called, "The Explosive Child: A New Approach For Understanding And Parenting Easily Frustrated And Chronically Inflexible Children" and it was written by Dr. Ross W. Green.
The biggest thing I have learned from reading this book is that Emily is not choosing to be explosive or non-compliant-any more than she would chose to have a reading disability. She is delayed in the process of developing the necessary skills to be flexible and tolerant, or perhaps she has a significant difficulty applying the skills when she most needs to.
Some of the characteristics of "explosive inflexibility" that Emily exhibits are as follows:
*difficulty managing and controlling the emotions associated with frustration.
*has trouble thinking through ways of resolving frustrating situations.
*the tendency to think in black and white...in a concrete, rigid manner. "My way or the highway."
*continues to exhibit frequent, intense meltdowns even in the face of salient and potent consequences.
*falling apart unexpectedly in the face of frustrating circumstances, no matter how trivial.
*one or several issues in which she is especially inflexible...the order or manner in which things must be done is the area that applies specifically to Emily.
The book was very useful...and provided an entire new framework for strategies in dealing with Emily.
I have to admit, I am going to have to majorly re-work my thinking around all of this.
I kind of wish I had read the book before it had gotten to this point with Emily.
I am planning on typing up a summary of the book for Ryun to read (I knew I wouldn't be able to convince him to read it but I was able to sell him on reading a summary)which I will probably post here when I am done.
Being a parent is hard work sometimes. I am pretty sure it's getting harder as I go along, which is weird if you ask me. It seems like it should get easier with time.
I feel kind of bad about how things have been with Emily lately. The smallest things with her seem to be setting even me off, which should give you a pretty good indication of serious things have become. I have to be just about the most laid back and easy going person in the world.
The bottom line though? No matter how hard it is, and how much "work" is involved, helping Emily and finding the peace is my top priority right now.