I'm Having A Day

I mean, of course I am having a day, who isn't? What I should have said was that I am having a bad day.

It's one of those (Why me? Why my kids?) kind of days.

I don't have them often but when I do there a real freakin' blast.

It all started this morning at PT with Julia. First off (and this really doesn't have much to do with the bad day thing but I figured I would mention it) Julia basically had the attitude of "my way or the highway." She didn't want to do anything we wanted her to. Eh whatever...she is always very cooperative and hello she's a kid. A little stubbornness here or there isn't exactly abnormal (especially in this family)!

Anyway, the PT noticed that Julia, when pulling to stand drags her right leg behind her rather than stepping forward to level herself. She always uses her left leg to push off with. I have noticed this too. Her right sneaker even shows wear from the dragging. The PT recommended that I "make" her push off with her right foot when I am working with her at home or notice her pulling to stand.

No big deal really right? Well, yeah kind of. What it was for me (the fact that there is just one more issue, one more thing "wrong") was a trigger. I couldn't help it. I got in the car and was driving home, developed a migraine headache from hell (not there could be any other place that a migraine could come from) and started the "Why is this happening? Why isn't she walking? Did I do something wrong while I was pregnant with her that could have caused this? Am I a bad mother? " rant.

I know.

Things could be worse.

Much much worse.

It's nice to know, but it doesn't make things any easier.

I know it's not my fault either...and I know I am a good mother. Sometimes, I even think I am a great mother, not to toot my own horn.

I started thinking about how people (just people in general) keep saying, "Oh, she's just developing at her own pace. Some kids are just not as anxious as others to walk."

Blah Blah Blah.

Any good parent can't honestly tell me that if your 18 month old child couldn't walk, you wouldn't be just the slightest bit concerned.

If you weren't, I would think there was something wrong.

Something wrong with you, but that's just my opinion.

Don't fucking take my right to worry away. And don't fucking try to tell me that she'll be fine.

She won't be fine, she already is fine, better than fine actually.


Sorry.

It all just gets to me every once in a while.