Tomorrow...

...is Julia's appointment with the developmental pediatrician. I have been looking forward to this for so long but, now that it's here, well, I am starting to get that feeling. What feeling? The "Oh my God, what if she has TSC too?" feeling. I remember when Emily was first diagnosed, and we were discussing genetic testing for Ryun and I, the same feeling came up. What if I have this awful thing and passed it on to my children? It certainly isn't anything that one has control over, and in the whole scheme of things, if the worst thing that we will have to deal with in terms of Julia is a delay in the gross motor area, we are doing pretty damn good. This TSC thing could certainly be much worse, even life threatening in some cases, but it doesn't make facing the possibility of another child having it (even in one of it's mildest forms) any easier. Emily herself has a borderline diagnosis. Julia, if she does have it, certainly seems to be borderline too. The thing is, with TSC, you just never know. I mean Emily was the picture of health until she turned seven and then, seemingly out of the blue, despite this genetic mutation being there since birth (it is in the TSC2 gene by the way) her life was changed.

I don't know. I am trying not to worry too much about it. I just hope that whatever testing is conducted, both tomorrow in the office and any test she orders (bloodwork etc) will come back negative. I hope that Julia's issues such as low tone are just a freak thing.

I will be back to update y'all after the appointment ( and lunch with Mom who is coming with me for moral support).