Cuteness

This is how I found Julia earlier today...I love when babies fall asleep in random places!

Trying to put her sunglasses on...

...and succeeding!

So tell me, isn't she just the cutest darn thing?

WTF

In a heated discussion at the Halloween party regarding medical emergencies, I found out that a paramedic/firefighter/police officer will not enter your house if you have an "uncontained" dog running around. I'm sorry what?

Apparently, they have to take their own safety in to account before tending to the person in trouble.

So I'm like, "My daughter is breathing her last breath on the living room floor, for all intents and purpose going to die, ok die without immediate emergency care, and the medic or whatever is going to stand at the front door and watch while I chase the damn dog around the house?" And who actually thinks I would leave my child's side for even a second to grab the damn dog (please note that I do not even have a dog, this is just on principle)?

"Hey sorry kid, got to go get Baxter, please don't hold it against me. Really, I'm sorry, but officer Joe might get attacked by the dog so you know, just keep gasping for air, or bleeding from the head and don't worry while your mother, the person you have always counted on for support goes to contain the dog."

I'm sorry but that is just wrong on so many counts.

Someone pointed out that if the dog did attack (who the hell has an attack dog with kids in the house?) the medic, firefighter, or officer who would help my kid? I was like, "Have you ever been in an emergency situation in this area?" I have...and guess what? Emergency personnel show up in flocks (police cars, ambulances, and fire trucks galore were in my driveway when Emily had her first and second seizures) when a call comes in. One person down isn't going to matter. Besides, my daughter is dying. Hello?

Emergency personnel take their jobs knowing full well that they may be putting themselves in harms way. You might get bit by a dog while trying to save the life of a child. SO SORRY.

As you can tell, I feel rather strongly about this. How do you feel? And if there are any medical/emergency professionals out there, is there any truth to this or were my firefighter friends just talking out of their ass?

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween!

I posted a little while ago but I accidently deleted it. Oops.

We are heading over to my parents neighborhood tonight to trick or treat with the girls. We had planned on trick or treating here, but the side street we were going to go on only has 10 or so houses. Ryun suggested going to my parents neighborhood (where there are 40 or so houses) saying that the kids would get more candy if we went there. "More candy for kids means more candy for Dad" I said to him. He said, " I am giving up staying home and handing out candy, Sharon."

That put it in to perspective for me. He hates leaving the house if he doesn't have to.

Something I forgot to mention regarding the Halloween party. I have known for quite a while that my friend Kelly wants to scrapbook with me (she has a lot of what she needs she just wants me to "show her how" sort of). Well, at the party, I also found out that my friend Tracey is a scrapbooking fanatic like me. So, at the Halloween party we decided that we would get together and scrap sometime this week or next (have to finalize) at my house. So now, my wheels are turning. Maybe we could do it bi-weekly, or monthly. How fun that would be! I am going to email or call, and see how that would go over. For me, scrapbooking and gift making and whatever else is going to be my life for the next couple of months. I have a lot of crap to do before Christmas.

Today though, as mentioned in the deleted post, I am going to be lazy. I might post a picture of the green milk (food coloring works wonders) that I put in the kids cereal, or perhaps post some photos of the rest of the house. Or, I might not do either.

The 8th Annual Halloween Party

In a surprising and untimely manner, Old Man Winter made an uninvited appearance at this years' Annual Halloween Party (Yes, that is Ryun shoveling snow).

Jason Varitek(aka Jeff) came to play.

Drew and Mimi (aka Kelly and Michael) were there too!

The local cowboy (aka Jay) showed up( Is that a monkey in your pant's or...ah, nevermind).

The sleepy sisters (aka Birdget and Kerri) stayed awake for the whole night!

Smarty pants( aka Sharon) and Wise Ass (aka Ryun, as if that wasn't obvious) who was camera shy (would you want a picture of your ass on the internet?) were also in attendance.

The Geat Pumpkin Cake was a huge hit!

Drew and Nurse Heather smile for the camera.

"Kitty" and Jason (aka Jen and Jeff) pose.

*Ryun's costume: WISE potato chip labels taped to his ass*

Today's Plans

EI is coming at 11:30 today. I am going to try and give Julia her nap a little early (she usually sleeps from 11-1 or so) so that she will be happy during the meeting. If she doesn't seem too tired though, I may just wait until later and see how she does. I have a lot to get done anyway, so it might be convenient if she went in after EI.

I am going to make the candy corn fudge before she comes. I am also going to make this Halloween candy pizza thingy, which I will probably post the recipe for at some point.

The turnout for the Halloween party is good. I only have a few people left to hear from. Suzanne and John might come which I am very excited about! I wasn't sure if they would be coming (she is due November 8 and the hospital in an hour or so from my house) but they have pretty much decided to come, unless she is having the baby of course! Only 11 days until her due date! YAY for being an Aunty (again).

It sounds like we will have a good array of food...Taco Dip, Spinach Dip, a few deserts ( in addition to what I am making), my famous Kilbassa, Chicken Casserole, a couple of other appetizers(not sure what...people just said they would bring an app) and I am thinking a Lasagna (just have to wait to hear back from a friend who asked what to make and I suggested Lasagna, or something along the italian side). I am also going to try and make chocolate lollipops as a party favor (last year I did a Halloween snack mix and put them in mason jars). I love my Halloween party...it's always a good time!

Anyway, I will be busy getting ready today so I may not be back, unless I decide to take a break.

Smarty Pants

I ended up sending Katherine (who had a much better night once the doc prescribed Robitussin with codeine) to school. She was not happy about it but, so far no word from the school so I guess all is well. I did call the nurse and give her a heads up though. I told her that she had a rough start and that this morning, she woke up all out of it and had that fruity smell on her breath. I tested her sugar and it was 60. After eating, I re-tested and it was on the way up (it was 80). I told the nurse to re-test only if Katherine came in to see her but otherwise, not to (unless she had some other reason to believe there was a need to...this is "Nazi" nurse so I am sure she'll find some reason!).

This cold was a doozy, let me tell you. Not only does her belly hurt from the strain of coughing, but her nose and lips are completely chapped, and she still, even days later is very pale. Let's all say a quick prayer that no one else in the fam gets it, k? Realistically, because this is the way it always goes, Emily and Julia will be next, followed by Ryun, then me, who will get the worst of it. Why do I get it last and worst? Worst? Because I am so darn tired and worn out from taking care of every one else, so I have no energy to fight it off. Last? God knows that I have to take care of everyone else, so He makes sure to spare me til everyone else is over it. He's smart like that.

Still, if y'all want to send healthy vibes this way, I won't complain.

Translation

All of my dreams usually mean bad things (misfortune, bad luck, health in jeopardy etc). For once, I have had two dreams that actually mean something good.

The first one involved Ryun, my sisters, and I taking the kids to an indoor beach (whatever that is). I was in the water about waste high, taking pics of the Emily and Katherine splashing and playing in front of me...maybe about 20 ft away or so. Out of nowhere, the water began to rise rapidly and it was up to my neck. I was looking for the kids but there were a ton of people and I couldn't see them. I started motioning to my sister to help me, all the time, holding my camera in the air so it wouldn't get wet (as if I wouldn't drop my camera and swim immediately to the kids ...but this is a dream and not real life so what can you do?). I started to see the kids, who were struggling to keep above the water, not exactly drowning but definitely in trouble. As I got closer, Katherine went under completely. When I finally made my way to them, the water had started to go down and they were fine.

Here's my interpetation of that: The things that are going on with them(seizures, blood sugar, etc) are beyond my control (hence the drowning and my inability to stop it). I am getting too deeply involved and worrying too much. The part where they were ok: in real life, they will be ok. The water rising and subsiding: all hell is breaking loose now but it will get better.

The next dream involved a bridge. In past dreams (one that is recurring) I have dreamed of being on a bridge that was not finished...and plunging off of the end in to the water. This dream was so much better!

I was standing just before the bridge. there was a sign that said, "If you have never been on this bridge, please go here first( and it had an arrow pointing to a sectioned off part of the bridge in which there were people milling about looking very confused, sad and bewildered). The other part of the bridge showed people and cars zooming by, without any hesitation or reservation. I stood there for a very long time (having never been on the bridge) contemplating which side to go on. I was very torn over this decision. In the end, after much struggle I ended up choosing the side with the cars and people flying by.

Interpretation: For some, going over the bridge might seem like a reckless decision. For my though it symbolized something completely different: My life is taking a new and healthier path. No more sad Sharon...no more indecisive Sharon. Let's meet life's challenges head on and with gusto. Cross over the bridge to the other side..where no doubt better times are waiting.

Hope For The Future

Articles like this really give me hope Emily's future. You just never know what time may bring! I don't spend a lot of time focussing on the negative aspects of her genetic disorder, but every once in a while the decisions she will have to make, get me sad.

Katherine

Katherine is home with me again. She was up all night, coughing like crazy, even with the combined duo of Delsym and Dimetab (reccomended by the pediatrician). So, I will be, at his request, following up with him today and telling him we need some codeine. The poor kid hasn't slept a full night in close to a week and as a result of that, and just not feeling well in general, she has been cranky and sleeping during the day. She's very sick looking...pale and just "sickly."


EI is coming on Friday instead of today this week, which actually works out better for me. It was kind of weird though. It was one of those "rush-rush" mornings. At one point, I thought, "Watch, I'll be running around like a maniac getting ready and Jen will call to cancel/reschedule." About 15 minutes later, who calls? Jen. To re-schedule. Shit like that happens to me all the time. Still freaks me out though.

Doctor's Appt Update

We're back.

Katherine has a severe cold, but he wants me to follow up with him in a day or two over the phone to see if she is any better. He thought she sounded a little croupy but he wants to give it a day or two to be sure. She had a fever of 101.9 though while we were there. Yikes.

Julia weighed 19 lbs, 9 oz, which was exactly what she weighed last time. He was a little concerned about that. She grew 3/4 of an inch. He did a quick overview of her muscle tone and did agree, well, that there really wasn't much, if any. As I suspected he would, she has been referred to a developmental pediatrician. With the weight gain becoming an issue (again...it was an issue in her first 6 months and I had to take her for weight checks)and the low muscle tone, he thinks she should be evaluated by a specialist. Her name is Dr. Jo-Ann Bier and she is on staff at Children's Hospital In Boston. Her office is in Brockton, at Caritas Good Samaritan Medical Center. Basically, Julia's pediatrician described developmental pediatrics as a combination between neurology and pediatrics. I should be hearing from Dr. Bier's office sometime within the next week or two to schedule an appointment. Other than that, Julia is doing well. She had the worst time EVER with her shots...and was kicking and struggling the whole time to get away. When we left the office she was still sobbing. Immunizations are just the worst part (for baby and Mommy, I think!).

Doctor

Today is Julia's 15 month check up! I am looking forward to seeing how big she has gotten (although just eyeballing her makes me think the weight gain won't be much this time around). She is always on the tall side of normal which, coming from this family is completely weird.

I am also pretty much positive that he is going to be ordering some kind of special tests in regard to the reason behind the low tone, no standing, no walking thing. When I called last week to ask him about PT outside of what EI is providing, he was concerned, which is good because so am I. It also means he won't be asking the "Can she do this that and the other thing" questions, because, well he already knows she can't. I hate when people ask (obviously he has to). It's just hard.

Katherine is still sick and was up all night long coughing...even after giving her Delsym and setting up the Vaporizer. She is coughing so forcfully that she is complaining of a stomach ache (because of the strined muscles). Conveniently, D. B can see both Julia and Katherine at 11:15. I am hoping her will give her a prescription with codeine in it so she (we) can actually sleep. I felt so bad for her.

Well, I should probabaly get off of the computer. The power has already gone out once and I am sure it will be happening all day with the weather.

Ugh.

Cool Website

If you're like me, and usually have all but the one ingredient necessary to complete a recipe, this site should come in very handy. Type the ingredient you are missing and find a substitute. Maybe just maybe, you'll have that substitute ingredient in you cabinet. Very cool.

Aww...

You Are A: Duckling!

The cutest of the cute, these baby ducks are often spotted in the spring following closely behind their mother. As a duckling you will grow up quickly, becoming one of the adult ducks seen commonly in ponds and streams. Playful and timid, charming and vulnerable, ducklings are nature's very definition of innocence.

You were almost a: Lamb or a Frog
You are least like a: Squirrel or a KittenWhat Cute Animal Are You?

Julia!

Julia climbed up her first stair yesterday! Isay "stair" because she made it up one and then wouldn't go any further. It was exciting, but I knew it was coming since she learned how to climb up and down off of the brick hearth around the woodstove and over the ledge that leads to the hallway from the kitchen. Needless to say, we will need to get some sort of a gate to go around the stove...can't have her getting used to climbing around near that.

If you ask Julia, "Do you love....(fill in the blank with just about anything/anyone)?" she tilts her head to the left and smiles. She is TOO. DARN. CUTE. She has really gotten in to pointing lately. She used to only point to people, but she has started pointing to inanimate objects now as well. Funny thing...sometimes when you aske her, "Where's Mama?" she points to herself. I think it is as a result of months of me pointing to myself saying, "Mama." Most of the time, she gets it right though. If you say, "Julia, what are you doing?" she looks at you with this devilish grin on her face that is so stinking cute, I can't even put it into words.

She continues to "talk" and has started to say a few things that she might mean such as Mama, Dada, Papa, and baby. It's so hard to tell sometimes whether or not she is babbling or actually means to say things.

She now gets in to everything. Nothing is safe...and I mean nothing. If she can get to it, open it, rip it, throw it..."whatever"it, she will. She has even figured out how to open the drawers of my file cabinet, ok?

Source

Last night, Emily was complaining that "her entire back was itchy." I lifted her shirt and saw that she had hives all over her, so, I gave her benedryl and they disappeared. I was puzzled at first as to the source, then I remembered we were at a house in which four cats were present. Source found.

Katherine had a fever (again) last night of 100.9, so she is home today. Again, she seems ok but the school has a rule...fever within 24 hours? Don't send your kid to school. She definitely seems to have a slight cold and is generally not herself so she must have something.

On the agenda for today...laundry. Joy.

Blogging

Funny thing...while running the spell check on my last entry the word "blogging" came up as a spelling eroor. I found that so odd that I actually laughed outloud.

Depression and Epilepsy...The Plot Thickens

Below is a link to an article I received via email today.

The Plot Thickens.

I found it very interesting, for reasons which should be obvious, and some that may not be.

The article serves as a great lead in to something I have contemplated blogging about for quite some time. The other night really brought it to the forefront, when I "lied" to a friend about my whereabouts when asked.

She had called looking for a recipe and jokingly asked where I was (after I hadn't answered my phone). I said I was at a PTA meeting. Where was I really? I was really at a meeting for this group.

I have hinted at this before (talking about my "regular" Thursday night meetings, hinting that I understood mental illness, talking about how much counseling has helped me etc) but I have never come right out and said it here. I suffer from something called, "Dysthmia", or in "layman's terms", chronic low-grade depression. I shouldn't really say that I "suffer" from it, at least not as frequently. This last bout (back in April/May) was definitely the worst ever, and this was the first time, I have really done anything serious about it (by serious I mean actually following through and sticking with counseling, taking my medication (40 mgs of Celexa every morning) and attending my Thursday night support group). It has been amazing how well all of these things actually work. I admit to being skeptical but, I basically got to a point a few months ago in which I realized that if I didn't act on my behalf, I would end up feeling like crap forever. In an odd way, turning thirty helped me too. When thinking about my impending birthday, I would often reflect on how fast the past thirty years had gone by. In turn, I would think about how fast the next thirty would more than likely go. Finally, I would say to myself, "Is this really how I want to live my life? Down in the dumps and blah everyday (give or take)?" I decided I wanted more, for myself and my family, and took the actions necessary to get it.

I am not going to say that every day is a struggle. Most days I do just fine but there are some, even with the extra "help" I am getting that I still can't seem to get out of a slump. Basically, the medication, counseling, and support group meetings have made the slumps less..."slumpy" if you will and digging out just keeps getting easier.

I have suffered with this for years before I was ever willing to admit ...to myself or anyone else that I was sick. Mostly, I think it has been a matter of pride. Some of it was denial. Still some of it was wishful thinking ("This is just a "moment"...it will go away and I'll be fine." etc).

I still have a difficult time coming to grips with the fact that nothing necessarily has to be wrong for me to not feel well. It's a hard concept to grasp. Occasionally, though not often, I struggle with the "fairness" of it all ("Why do I have to feel this way? Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?"). I often grapple with guilt ("If I didn't have this, would I be a better Mom? Wife? Daughter? Friend?"). However, if I have learned one thing through all of this it has been that guilt is a useless and wasted emotion. So, I try to spend more time focusing on the "what's" rather than the "what if's".

It feels good to get this out here. I have wanted to do this for so long. I don't know why I haven't, except perhaps because of the stigma that is still, after all of these years attached to it. I have a mental illness that has been diagnosed by an actual psychiatrist. It still feels weird saying that but, it doesn't make me any less of a person.

Pictures Of The 2nd Floor...

Standing in Emily and Katherine's room, looking...at the beds, obviously!

The area at the top of the stairs which we have deemed, The Landing. It's big enough for their desk, a tv and their bean bags. That's the door to the playroom you can see in the background.

Looking in to the bathroom from the bedroom.

Standing in the bedroom door.

The desk side of "The Landing."

How I Used The Seeds

I ended up placing the seeds in shallow baking dishes, pouring melted butter over them, seasoning with garlic and roasting them. They tasted good...I love when an "on a whim" recipe comes together.

Before!

After!

Pumpkin Carving and Other Things

Last night, we went to see The Harlem Wizards at the High School. It was a lot of fun, and Julia even "participated" in the show. One of the players (Broadway) came over and started making faces/noises at Julia. She was laughing at him and trying to climb right out of her carriage to "get him." Anyway, one of the other players, "Speedy" came over and said, "Broadway, stop scaring the baby!"

Emily was thoroughly entertained! A couple of the players had visited her school earlier in the day so she was "pumped" for the game last night.

Katherine was very tired and out of it for bascially the whole game. She woke up this morning with a fever, so she must be coming down with something.

We were supposed to participate in "Trick Or Treat So Others Can Eat" today, but it has been cancelled due to the weather (or at least her troop isn't participating) . Instead, her troop is going to due their own food drive and donate that way.

I am going to carve pumpkins with the glrls today, which leads me to the next topic of discussion. I was thinking of using the pumpkin seeds for something (perhaps roasting and eating them). Anyone have any ideas/recipes?

Guess What?

I have been blogging for four years as of today! I can't imagine ever stopping, or even taking a break for any lengthy period of time. I fully admit, it is an addiction, a healthy one, but and addiction just the same.

Anyone interested in seeing where it all began? Click here.

And where it continued? Click here.


There certainly is a lot of history there.

Anyway, Happy Blogiversary to me! YAY!

Does this ever happen to you ?

Everyday, something happens or someone says something that has me thinking, "I want to blog about that." Hours later, when I sit down at my computer, I remember that I had something I wanted to mention here, but completely forget what it was.

It is the most annoying thing.

Link Added

I just added a link along the sidebar to my old blog for any one interested in reading my "history."

Beyond

I understand mental illness, more than some of you might think. Still, I can't, and probably never will, understand how any mother could do this. It is completely beyond my comprehension.

Christmas Parade

Yes, I know Halloween hasn't even come yet and I am posting about Christmas. I have a good reason though.

This year, as in years past, Emily's Girl Scout Troop (Troop 54) will be paritcipating in The Anual Middleboro Christmas Parade. Last year, her troop won an award for being one of the best floats in the parade. The theme this year is "Christmas Across America." Knowing the way I work, I will come up with this amazingly awesome idea, two days before the parade. So, this year I'm going to cheat, and ask y'all for any good ideas you might have for a float. Submissions will be accepted for the next few weeks or so...so feel free to chime in!
Update: Forgot to mention, the parade is on Saturday, November 26, and kicks off on Mayflower Street, for those interested parties!

Interesting...

According to a recent study by the Department of Public Health, Middleboro has a high and above average rate of asthma among elementary and middle school students. An Asthma rate of over 20% at The Lincoln D. Lynch School (where Katherine, who incidentally has Asthma, attends) is among the highest in the state.

The article (which appeared in this week's edition of the local paper) goes on to say that there is no evidence of any specific environmental factors contributing to the high rates and that better reporting has probably contributed to the apparent increase. The article also points out that many children entering LDL already have a history of asthma (as is the case with Katherine).

Still, it is rather interesting.

Tears

Katherine.

Getting on the bus.

Again.

I can only take so much of this. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to put your child on the bus in tears? I hope you never have to find out.

It's getting to be kind of a serious problem. I don't know what to do about it. Obviously I can't let her stay home. She keeps asking me to drive her to school but I can' t have her getting used to that either (especially since I have no good feeling that we wouldn't have the same tears and what not as I dropped her off at her classroom). I have tried to encourage her, even offered to set up some sort of a reward system or something if she goes off ok, doesn't visit the bathroom or the nurse often etc. She seems to think that would be a good idea but even today, when I said I would set something up while she was at school, she walked all the way to the bus, turned around and ran back to me in tears. She is making herself sick to her stomach literally (every morning before school she spends a good part of the free time she has left after getting ready in the bathroom). Any thoughts? Anyone? Please?

I was right...

This should be illegal.

Mmmm...

A Whole Bunch Of Stuff!

Today was Julia's first physical therapy appointment. It went well, I think, and I did get some good ideas of different things I can try at home to encourage the standing/walking. Her PT did a check today to make sure that nothing was "out of place" in her hip/leg area and everything seemed to be where it is supposed to be. She did reccomend that I follow up with Julia's pediatrician to see if further testing is necessary, and possibly with Emily's neurologist who, incidentally, specializes in developmental disabilities. So, tonight or perhaps tomorrow morning, I am going to put together a packet of information regarding Julia's EI visits (we get a sheet at the end of every EI/PT visit describing what we have worked on etc, her progress, and any other pertinent information to send to both her pediatrician and the neurologist for review.

You know, I really am fine once I know what is going on. For me, knowing is half the battle.

Moving on...I sent Katherine to school today in tears. Don't even ask me how hard that was because I couldn't possibly put it in to words, but I had to do it and I did. Emily sat with her today which hopefully helped. I haven't gotten one call from the school today (someone knock on wood for me) so I am hopeful that she had a good day. *NURSE JUST CALLED...KATHERINE HAD A MUCH BETTER DAY TODAY, SUGAR TESTED AT 85 JUST BEFORE LUNCH WHICH IS NOT LOW, BUT ON THE LOWER SIDE OF NORMAL, NURSE HAS PERMISSION TO TREAT WHEN LOWER THEN 70.*

Emily has Girl Scouts today and it is her turn to bring snack for the troop. I decided to try the Candy Corn Fudge recipe on her unsuspecting troopmates...hopefully it came out good. I am going to take it out of the fridge in a few, cut it, and try a piece. I do have a back up box of Goldfish just in case! Her troop is going to the fire station today which is just down the street from the Girl Scout House. She is very excited about this!

And on a completely random note, what is it about sticking your hand in a VCR that seems to attract every baby/toddler everywhere (yeah, I just had to pull Julia's hand out of the VCR)?

Julia Update!

Julia has started to do all kinds of new things lately! Some of the highlights...pointing to Mama when asked, "Where's Mama?", saying something that sounds so close to "baby" and most of the time saying it in context that I am pretty sure she is actually saying it and meaning it, and identifying the following body parts: nose, mouth, "tinky toes", and her hair, which she has decided is called, "pretty". She responds to everything we say now...mostly with baby babble and almost always with a smile. She is just the happiest baby and we are so blessed!

Give Peace A Chance

A Hippie You scored 62 Wisdom, 50 Tactics, 46 Guts, and 31 Ruthlessness!

You know nothing about tactics or war. You are docile and cowardly and the mere thought of violence is enough to make you wet yourself. Hate to break it to you, but chances are very good that you're not General material.... not even BAD General material. Hell you're probably not even a productive member of society. Why are you even here? Don't you have a peace pipe to smoke, or a war to protest or something? So here's to you and to whatever naive country that lets you vote.... Leaders who share your beliefs include: Jaques Chirac and Gerard Schroeder

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 43% on Unorthodox You scored higher than 14% on Tactics You scored higher than 17% on Guts You scored higher than 6% on Ruthlessness

Link: The Which Historic General Are You Test written by dasnyds on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Anxiety

I think I may have been right on target when I mentioned that Katherine's "issues" may be a delayed reaction to the transition to kindergarten. This morning, just as she was puting her jacket on and getting her bag together for school, she complained that her " belly hurt really bad". She had been fine all morning.

I called the nurse, told her what I thought and asked her to give a heads up to Katherine's teacher. I think with a little encouragement and redirection she will be fine. Quite honestly, I was a little surprised with how well the transitiion seemed to go. Katherine's is "my girl" and she has gotten used to spending every day with me(minus the few hours a week she'd spend at preschool). I think it's finally setting in (for her I mean) that she will be gone all day, everyday and she might be having a hard time adjusting to that. She seems to like school though which is good. This could be one heck of a lot worse than it is if she didn't.

Leg Update

I can now walk up and down stairs the "normal" way with minimal pain. YAY! Sleeping is still a bitch and now matter what I do...take drugs, don't take drugs, sleep on the left side, sleep on the right side, sleep on my back, sleep on my stomach...I wake up every morning in a good deal of pain and in need of a walker. But hey, progress is progress right?

I am pretty sure the orthopedic surgeon will not be necessary as I am definitely on the upswing here and even though it's slow, it's definitely not getting any worse. I was really going to be pissed off if I needed to see a doctor.

I am hoping to improve even further and soon, as I am actually feeling motivated to use my treadmill. These moments of motivation (especially when it comes to exercise) are far and few between so I have to jump on them when they arrive. I hope the leg cooperates and that the motivation doesn't disappear before the leg is at full throttle.

Literacy Bags

A notice brought home by Katherine today:

"During the school year, your child will have the opportunity to bring a literacy activity bag home. Inside each bag there wil be a book, instructions, materials for the activities and a comment page. All materials are to be returned to school the next day so that the bags may be replenished and sent home with other children. Your cooperation is greatly appreciated as this teaches students both an enjoyment of reading, as well as reposponsibility of school property."

Isn't that awesome?

Reason # 353 that Middleboro Schools rock!

Medical

I did manage to get a couple of things done...nothing huge though. I changed our address with the RMV and the IRS. Like I said, not much but it had to be done so at least I can cross it off of the list.

I have been thinking about how I really should be calling about the random bed wetting issues Emily had a couple of weeks ago (especially since it is now apparent that it wasn't a UTI) but I just don't want to find out something else is wrong...or that she has had another seizure. I know that this is wrong on so many fronts but I am just sick of all this crap. If she did have a seizure she 's obviously fine so why bother? I know I have to do this, I just don't want to.

It never ends. When I went to the nurse to drop of Katherine's glucometer, she told me Katherine had been in 5 times complaining of a stomachache. Then, when I was waiting for them to get home off of the bus, she called and told me that Katherine has been making frequent(by frequent I mean 3-4 times within an hour) trips to the bathroom. WTF? Honestly, I am beginning to wonder if this is some sort of delayed reaction to being away from home all day everyday. Her chief complaint has been a stomachache, which would be consistent with a nervous /butterflies type thing. And what the heck is up with the nurse? Goddamn she's on top of things...maybe just a little too on top of things. So my kid has to pee a lot. Get over it. I know it can be disrupting but it's just annoying on some level.

What the heck? While I am on the medical rant, let's move on to Julia. I know that all kids move at their own pace and everyone is going to tell me, "Oh don't worry, she'll be fine" blah blah blah but, I think I have a right to be concerned. She is fifteen months old. In my opinion, she should at the very least be standing unsupported, even supported would be ok. She can't. She can not pull herself to standing and when placed in that position, her legs give way and she falls in to a sitting postion. I am sorry, this just isn't right. Moving at your own pace is one thing. Moving months behind the "general pace of the crowd" is another. I am going to talk to her PT this week and see what she has to say. I also plan on bringing these issues up when she has her 15 month check up next week.


You know, I feel a little bad going on and on about all of this stuff all of the time. The people I should be able to talk to this about (well not all of the people but some) just don't understand and support me the way I need to be understood and supported. It's a fact of my life that I basically have come to terms with and as a result, this is just about my only means of venting.

Motivation

I went to Waltham, got the meter, went to CVS, had the strips prescription filled, and delivered the whole thing to the school. While there, I found out that the nurse's daughter has Diabetes, which really helps explain why she has been so "adament" regarding the meter being at school for Katherine. Anyway, it's done.

I have an hour before the kids get home from school and I have absolutely no motivation to get things done. Of course, just because I am lacking motivation, there is a ton to do. Motivation or not, it's time to get my but in gear.

Unpacking

Yeah, I was kind of a slacker in the posting department this weekend, but I did get a ton of stuff done around the house so that's good, no?

Sitting behind me right now...a crapload of boxes to unpack. I don't know if I mentioned this before, but I have a lot of shit scrapbooking stuff. I am going to try and get some of it done tomorrow, either before or after the trip to Waltham, or perhaps both before and after if I am feeling really motivated.

Ryun put the rug down in the playroom so the task of putting away the toys still lies ahead. Heather got a head start today but there are still toys strewn about everywhere. My kids have a lot of toys, yo.

I have to remember to bring orange juice in to Emily's school on Thursday. I volunteered to bring something in to the book fair staff to help provide the teachers with a continental breakfast on their preview day. I got the call from the PTA bookfair rep this evening, so remind me on Wednesday night, k?

Buckle Up!

This is why I rarely leave my purse in the grocery carriage. On the rare occasion in which I don't have a kid in the front part of the carriage, and on the rare occasion in which I do put my purse down, I use the straps meant for buckling a kid and buckle in the pocketbook instead. It's a lot harder for a would-be-thief to grab it if it is secured in some way.

Julia...sick

Julia has what Katherine had. She woke up this morning and was all lethargic like. We brought her out to her chair, gave her a few cheerios and some juice, and proceeded to cook pancakes.

A few minutes later, the juice and cheerios came up, and landed all over her tray.

I hate when any one of my children are sick but I really hate when any of my children under the age of say 3 get sick. Why, other than the obvious not wanting them sick in general? Over the age of about three they recognize the feeling and at least try to run to the bathroom.

Anyway, that's all really.

Just Because

Of course, just because I said she was fine, she wasn't.

Yup, the school nurse called today and said Katherine was complaining of a stomach ache and sore throat, and that she had a slight fever. So, I went to get her...again.

Then, we came home and she picked up a snowglobe that I had stupidly left on the coffee table while organizing earlier, and dropped it. It shattered in to millions of little pieces, broke the glass that we have covering our coffee table and cut Katherine's toe. At first, because of the amount of blood, Ithought we might be making a trip to the ER for stitches (it bled like a head wound does...and those bleed a lot even when the cut is tiny) but, after applying pressure and washing it to make sure there was no glass in it, she was fine. I have no idea where she gets her pain tolerance from but the girl never cries. She came in to the kitchen, said (rather loudly but not crying), "I dropped the thing and a piece cut my toe." I was on my way in to see what in the name of God the noise was so I had her sit in a chair, took her sock off and apply pressure with a towel while I cleaned up the mess. She never cried once and she never does (not because she is hurt anyway). Basically, all she ever needs is a hug and she's good to go.

I have to drive to Waltham on Monday to get a glucometer and test strips to have on file at school. I could buy one I suppose but her doctor will give us one free. It's kind of a pain to get there but whatever. The nurse is very adament that it be there.

Blah.

Recipe: Candy Corn Fudge

This almost sounds too good to be true...candy corn fudge? It must be illegal!

Ingredients:

1 12 oz bag white vanilla baking chips (2 cups) melted.

2 16 oz cans of vanilla ready to spread frosting.

1 10 oz bag butterscotch chips (1 3/4 cups) melted.

Yellow food coloring.

Red food coloring.

48 pieces of candy corn.

Directions:

Line a 13x9 inch pan with foil. Butter foil. In large bowl, mix melted vanilla baking chips and 1 can of vanilla frosting until well blended. Spread 1/3 of mixture evenly in pan.

In another large bowl, mix melted butterscotch chips and can of vanilla frosting until well blended. Stir in 1/2 tsp of yellow and 1/2 tsp of red food color until mixture is orange and well blended. Spread orange mix over layer in pan.

If the remaining white mixture has set, heat in microwave on medium-high for 1 minute until melted and smooth. Stir in 1/4 yellow food coloring until mix is bright yellow and well blended. Spread over orange layer in pan. Refridgerate until firm, about 1 hour.

Use foil to lift candy from pan. Turn white side up, peel off foil. Cut in to eight rows by six rows. Press on piece of candy corn in to center. Store in refridgerator.

Would you like some cheese with that whine?

I have been up since 5 o'clock this morning. There is something inherently wrong with that.

I didn't go to bed until midnight (watched ER, the news at 11, did a few random things around the house and then went to bed) so I am kind of tired. I forgot to take Ibuprofen (which I have been doing before bed every night since I fell) so I woke up this morning in throbbing pain and could barely get out of bed. I did manage to make it out to the bathroom so that I could get a really hot face cloth and spread it over my knee. It helped a little. I keep thinking that taking a really hot bath would work wonders but I am afraid that I won't be able to get out of the tub, literally. It's weird how this whole thing seems to be going. One day it feels fine basically and the next day (like today for example) it feels almost as bad as it did when it happened. I am still walking with a limp. Even when I try to walk right, I can't.

Anyway, enough whining.

Katherine went off to school today as she was fine all day yesterday eating regular food and such. Today was one of those days where the bus left and I said, "Thank God." Those days don't happen often thankfully.

My meeting last night went well. I think Emily will really benefit from seeing someone, even if it's just so that she has something she does "all by herself." Let me tell you, I never realized how difficult it would be to find time to spend individually with each kid, by themselves, with no siblings around. It's hard, and of all three children, I think Emily needs that one on one attention thing the most. So, I am going to make more of an effort. Between the counseling and me, I think we might be heading in the right direction.

I have been busy thinking about ideas for the Halloween party. I wanted to try to make some "festive" foods this year to go with the whole Halloween theme. I have a few ideas but if y'all have any you want to share, feel free. I have great costume ideas for Ryun and I, ones that will be cheap and relatively easly to construct. Now, I just have to sell Ryun on them. Emily keeps asking when we are going to have a Halloween party that includes kids (ours have always been without the rugrats...my parents have them for the night) and I was thinking that it might be fun sometime to have a separate party that would include kids. We could decorate cookies, have a bobbing for apples contest, trick or treat around the house in a sort of hide and seek type method(hide the candy, kids have to find it). It could be fun. I don't think I could organize it this year, but I might do it next year and start that as a new traditon. We have enough friends that have kids so that it would be worth the effort.

Late Night Observation

It's late and I need to go to bed but I just wanted to say this: Shopping at Hannaford's might be worth it just to get some of their quality grocery bags.

Seriously.

Before!

After!

Lazy

Katherine seems to be doing much better today. I didn't send her to school though because I wanted to give her a day at home, eating lightly and resting, just to make sure the random one day bug is gone. I'd rather have her home than have to go all the way to the school to pick her up if she became sick.

Julia will be having her first haircut today! I am getting mine cut too, possibly even getting a new do rather than just a trim. I haven't decided yet though and knowing me, I won't decide until I am in the chair and she has the scissors ready to go!

I am hoping to actually get some things done around here today. I feel like I have been working my butt off everyday trying to get organized and now, the motivation is slowly slipping away. That and the fact that my leg still isn't feeling too great have made me lazier than usual. It (my leg) is definitely better and I have definitely gained some range of motion, but it still seems to stiffen up if I don't move it around frequently, and I still can't raise it enough to reach down and put socks on, for example. I haven't been wearing the knee brace much over the past couple of days but it has been a neccesity at night. I can't seem to get comfortable without it.

I have an appointment tonight (meeting with Emily's counselor to discuss what has been going on before we schedule Emily's first appointment). I feel weird talking about Emily in front of Emily so I thought this would be the best way to handle it. I am hoping that this counseling thing will be a good thing for her and I. It has certainly helped me personally more than I could even begin to describe here.

Julia Take 2

More Julia cuteness!

Julia Take 1

Julia cuteness!

Someday...

So, I think I might have just volunteered to design a website for the PTA. Yikes. I can do it obviously, but I have never actually done something like that for someone else. I am also in the running to be the PR coordinator, but that won't be decided until the next meeting.

There was the most annoying person there tonight and I am not even going to get in to it but just OH MY GOD.

I got absolutley nothing done on the "to do" list today, partially due to my laziness, and partially due to the fact that I got a call from the school nurse who told me Katherine was halfway through her lunch period and went over to a teacher and said, "I feel like I am having an attack."

Turns out, she wasn't faking it (not that she ever does). I went to the school, got her and brought her home. About an hour or so later, she threw up all over the bathroom floor. She was probably having an attack because she was sick, which is basically typical of her. Long fast or illness of any kind=low blood sugar.

Now, because she has had an attack in the middle of the day, the nurse is requesting that she have a meter there, as well as glucagon tabs to treat with if she should ever go unconscious or anything serious like that. So, I put a call in to her endocrinologist, asking whether or not they provide the meter or if I have to go get one myself and bring it in. I let him know that I will be faxing over a medical form for him to fill out (the school has to have this on record to administer any kind of doctor ordered medical treatment) and asked him to write a script for Glucagon so the nurse can have it if needed. Honestly, I am not sure if I feel any of this is needed but, if it will make the nurse feel better, I will do it. I am also superstitious and feel like if I don't something will happen, but that's just me. By the way, the results that have come in so far in regard to her lab tests are within the normal range. There are still a few things that aren't back yet but should be soon.

So that was my day. The office is still a mess, the laundry still needs to be done, and the list goes on.

Someday, I have no idea when, the list will actually have items crossed off without adding any at the same time.

Someday.

My Girls!

Katherine, Julia and Emily!